Office pranks

Bored at work? Pass the time by annoying your colleagues. Each prank or annoying activity is graded according to effort and results. Disclaimer: only do these on colleagues who you are sure are fairly mentally stable, and can take a joke. Constantly winding someone up could be perceived as bullying and that can get you fired.

Office prank 1: Autocorrect prank

When your colleague leaves their desk, open Word, go to Tools, then Autocorrect. Add some stuff to the 'Replace' and 'With' boxes. For example, replace:

• 'Dear' with 'Yo' or 'My darling'

• 'Thank you' with 'Cheers mate'

• 'Email' with something completely irrelevant, like 'cheese'

• [colleague's name] with 'Miserable git' or 'Old slapper'

Make sure they use Word for emails. In Outlook, go to Tools, Options, Mail Format, then tick the 'use Word' box.

Office prank 2: Whistling

Whistle tunelessly every time you're in your colleague's presence. When they ask you to stop, start humming instead.

Variation: Sing songs with the wrong words and/or out of tune. Alternatively, substitute your colleague's name, preferably in a way that is offensive, doesn't make sense, and/or doesn't scan. Eg 'Oh when the Jeffrey / goes marching in / he'll eat all the biscuits / in the biscuit tin.'

Office prank 3: Display and sound settings

When your colleague leaves their desk, go to Control Panel, and then fiddle around with their settings for maximum irritation. Suggestions:

• Change their wallpaper to Hello Kitty Ballerina or WWF Wrestling, depending on what is most inappropriate

• Adjust the screen resolution to be ridiculously huge or ludicrously small

• Change their sound settings so that they are greeting with irritating noises every time they do something (sounds set to opening and closing programs are generally most annoying)

Extra effect: put your own sound files on their computer, or even record your own, then set them to relevant activities. Eg, when they start their computer, it plays 'What a feeling'. Turn up the volume.

Office prank 4: Stalking

Works best on colleagues with predictable habits. When you hear them coming (out of the toilet, into their office, into the tearoom etc), stand on the other side of the door - right in front of it if it opens away from you, or slightly behind it if it opens towards you. It'll make your colleague jump, especially if you are doing your 'kid from "The Shining"' face. Done repeatedly, this can become both irritating and sinister.

Office prank 5: Computer prank

Choose from the following:

• Pull the keyboard cord out of the back of the computer

• As above, but with the mouse cord

• Turn down the monitor contrast until it's completely black (they'll think the monitor's broken)

• Swap keys around on the keyboard

Risk: Someone might get paid to fix it. Unless that's you, fess up to the prank before they call in the computer experts.

Office prank 6: Phone prank

Requires the rest of your department

Select a department to play this on. Each of your colleagues dials the extension number of one person in that department, except the last digit. At the assigned moment, all dial the last digit, making all the phones in your chosen department ring simultaneously, then hang up. Do on a regular basis for maximum irritation. Stop before someone calls in the telephone engineer.

Office prank 7: Smells

Microwave a tuna sandwich. Eat it at your desk.

Variations:

• Hide scampi flavour crisps around your colleague's desk

• Put banana skins/orange peel/prunes in their bin.

• Tape something perishable to the underside of their desk. Allow to go off.

• Go to your local Asian supermarket and buy a durian (it's a fruit that smells of rotting fish and is so disgusting it is banned by many public buildings in Asia). Hide it in a cupboard.

Office prank 8: Furniture

Lower or raise their swivel chair each time they leave their desk. Alternatively, wedge something under one leg of the desk.

Ridiculously obsessive version: After everyone has gone home, remove everything on their desk, sand down each leg a couple of millimetres, and replace everything. Do daily for several months.

Office prank 9: The internet

When your colleague is away from their desk, fire up Google and switch off safe search (it's in 'Preferences'). Type in 'fat naked people'. Click 'images'.

Works best when: the boss is accompanying your colleague back to his or her desk.

Variations: Do a normal Google search for 'how to kill boss', '[name of colleague] is a git', or 'bestiality cure'.

Office prank 10: Email prank

Send an email from your colleague to the whole company. You can either do this from their desk, or you can fake the 'From' field in your own email account. Suggested topics:

• Request for tips on how to deal with an embarrassing medical condition

• An apology for that nasty smell in the toilets

• Coming out (if your colleague is already openly gay, announce that they've gone 'back to the path of righteousness', and include a dating invitation to all single staff members of the opposite sex)

Variation: a series of increasingly stupid emails, eg:

• "Has anyone got some bread I can borrow?"

• "Does anyone have a bit of cheese or ham I could have?"

• "If you're passing the kitchen, would you mind bringing me a plate?"

Office prank 11: Ringing phone

Stick a bit of card in your collegue's phone button underneath the reciever and ring them. When they go to pick the phone up and talk into it, it will still be ringing. (Thanks to Jamie Broderick.)

Office prank 12: Water water everywhere

Take a bunch (20 or so) of little paper cups and fill them with water. Organise them on your colleague's desk in a straight line. Then staple them all together at the top of the cups. Watch as he/she tries to figure out how to take them off of the desk without spilling everywhere. (Thanks to James Kearns.)

Office pranks 2

If you've had a go at our first list of office pranks and you're still bored at work, why not try these? The usual disclaimer applies (ie don't come crying to us if you get fired, sued and/or arrested).

Office prank 1: Telephone

When your colleague leaves his or her office, tie the phone cord in a knot so that the length is drastically reduced. Make sure to arrange the cord so that the knot can't be seen. Call them.

Variation: Don't call them (maybe the department head will).

Office prank 2: Google

When your colleague leaves their desk, do a Google search and type in 'Google' backwards. Replace this link with the Google link on the favourites menu, and set it as their homepage. The link is an exact replica of the Google homepage but entirely backwards.

Variation: Don't switch the link, just put LSD in your colleague's coffee.

Office prank 3: The Shoe

Depending on where you work it may be customary to bring separate footwear to wear at work. There are also people who leave their shoes under their desks and walk around in their socks. In any case, whenever your colleagues' shoes are vacant you can occupy them with bits of rolled up paper, wrappers or whatever you can find in the bin.

Office prank 4: "My precious"

Take something belonging to your colleague which is dear to them. Take a picture of it and send them a ransom note with the picture from an email address you have just created, such as "mister_mysterio@yahoo.com". This is very effective and your ransom demands can include making the person do embarrassing things in the office.

Office prank 5: Glue

Empty your colleague's pen pot. Pour in glue. Replace pens. Do this at the end of the day after your colleague has gone home so the glue has time to dry.

Variation: Put a spider the pen pot instead. Several, if you can find them.

Office prank 6: Coffee

Secretly replace the coffee with decaff for a few weeks. When everyone has got used to a caffiene-free existence, replace it with espresso.

Variations: Also works with decaff tea bags. Salt in the sugar pot is a lower-effort alternative.

Office prank 7: Tying a lot of crap to the chair

When your colleague leaves his/her desk, tie a lot of crap to their chair - the waste basket, plants, bags etc. Cable ties are good for this. Push the chair back under the desk and wait.

Most of the office pranks on this page were sent to us by one Alexander Ostrofsky. We hope we never have to work with him.